look ma, all urs

Mom- the reason im here.
the more words the more injustice..

so..luv:)

CATarina

a year.. a bloody year
a bloody crazy year

of luv
of life
of living

sustaining
rejuvenating
believing

the evidence piles on.. of purity of emotion.. energising.. incapactitating.. renewing.. tormenting

a response always thought to b a dream.. an experience meant for the complement.. me'

now it' s here.. she' here.. wild. wild.
a movie. a thriller. a drama.

unbridled emotion. 2 me. 4 me.
am i being rewarded at long last? or motivated? or plain ol empathy after all.

nopes. true pure refreshing innocent energy.
all hunky dory then?
hell no..cos its me remember? where'll the pain go then? left to fend for itslf? im its self-appointed guardian dear.

so .....
issues.
n guess wot.. its me at fault again.
this time for being at the other end of the spectrum.
the emotional spectrum.
from Vulgar to Rude.. watevr happend to being jus Good??

n then the books? family? work? to each a rung... but which..
y the rung i ask.. a comfy diwan would be unacceptable? but y?

mutual exclusivity's the bane of it all dear.. the bane of the sane.. n the rise of my cries..
i want it all.. tht the problem? the inability to decide.. choose.. demarcate..
n hence to satisfy.. please.. improve..

lost as a soul
without a rail
wanderin stumblin falterin
on the path still dark
the light had only flickerd to deceive
tho nothing left to perceive.

comfort n ease in blamin cribbin
got the keys to sum basic cravin
who am i u will never know
he who is me, to myself hell never show.