trees are good. for me. for us.

the life. lived. now playin the bonus tracks.

the onus now being on the bonus.

3 years since the last post,

6 months since i missed my toast;

all i know tht the best form, highest degree of luck so pure-

in me it finds a host.

lost the dream i believed in,

the meaning i thought was sole;

cribbed, cursed, tore my hair out,

cos all i saw was a choking, black hole.

music. an angel- cant play, cant sing.

can appreciate, cos it connects, stirs, transports, transforms.

cos it bloddy saves.

music. praise be to the unassuming sense.

Nirvana, Greg Laswell, REM - a list wud always b incomplete;

Its deep in my blood; defining the moments-

Low. High. or jus plain driving from A to B.

the car. it responds, obeys, thrills.

n i abuse it to facilitate some kills? - when will i learn?

after im behind bars? or within the noose?

sometimes i wish- i had nothing to lose.

the j kids- core to our lives,

lose the calm, the order; bring on the noise,

the world awaits to poison them,

till then my source of smiles is them boys.

smiles, grins, laughs - joy

sorry ma'am, wrong number.

but wait, His plans we never figure,

Iv been pulled out from tht pessimistic slumber. Damn. Damn?

Have i thrown caution away? Cos i shud believe tht im jus clinging to hope? Hopelessly?

Or is it tht iv got the strength n clarity to recognise n accept wots been waitin,

Waitin all along for me.

Foolish n o-so-familiar dreamlike,

When will i ever learn;

Bloddy let me live my life,

The judge is me, n im letting me hav my turn.

Things cud still go wrong, but im here to try,

Jus pray tht those who matter don hav to bid peace goodbye;

i mean no harm- im here to c u all smile,

but i can do it best when she's by my side.

im sorry, for all the pain iv caused,

iv been immature, blind, too trusting and disrespectful;

i wanna reform, be the son tht was probably lost,

n prove myself a lil less awful.

Mistakes iv made, is it yet another?

Am i jus never gonna change n let my life be taken over?

NO - cos i still believe, cos i still hav faith,

That i can choose sum1 to make r family happier.

i may b wrong; sorry for that.

How many times, whats the point u ask?

i dunno - i really dont - i jus know at some point within,

tht i hav it in me to make it last.

Shes here; n im thankful.

Shes defining it, the vibes r all in;

I jus want it to work out - it has to;

Gotta get onto a truckload of praying.