the life. lived. now playin the bonus tracks.
the onus now being on the bonus.
3 years since the last post,
6 months since i missed my toast;
all i know tht the best form, highest degree of luck so pure-
in me it finds a host.
lost the dream i believed in,
the meaning i thought was sole;
cribbed, cursed, tore my hair out,
cos all i saw was a choking, black hole.
music. an angel- cant play, cant sing.
can appreciate, cos it connects, stirs, transports, transforms.
cos it bloddy saves.
music. praise be to the unassuming sense.
Nirvana, Greg Laswell, REM - a list wud always b incomplete;
Its deep in my blood; defining the moments-
Low. High. or jus plain driving from A to B.
the car. it responds, obeys, thrills.
n i abuse it to facilitate some kills? - when will i learn?
after im behind bars? or within the noose?
sometimes i wish- i had nothing to lose.
the j kids- core to our lives,
lose the calm, the order; bring on the noise,
the world awaits to poison them,
till then my source of smiles is them boys.
smiles, grins, laughs - joy
sorry ma'am, wrong number.
but wait, His plans we never figure,
Iv been pulled out from tht pessimistic slumber. Damn. Damn?
Have i thrown caution away? Cos i shud believe tht im jus clinging to hope? Hopelessly?
Or is it tht iv got the strength n clarity to recognise n accept wots been waitin,
Waitin all along for me.
Foolish n o-so-familiar dreamlike,
When will i ever learn;
Bloddy let me live my life,
The judge is me, n im letting me hav my turn.
Things cud still go wrong, but im here to try,
Jus pray tht those who matter don hav to bid peace goodbye;
i mean no harm- im here to c u all smile,
but i can do it best when she's by my side.
im sorry, for all the pain iv caused,
iv been immature, blind, too trusting and disrespectful;
i wanna reform, be the son tht was probably lost,
n prove myself a lil less awful.
Mistakes iv made, is it yet another?
Am i jus never gonna change n let my life be taken over?
NO - cos i still believe, cos i still hav faith,
That i can choose sum1 to make r family happier.
i may b wrong; sorry for that.
How many times, whats the point u ask?
i dunno - i really dont - i jus know at some point within,
tht i hav it in me to make it last.
Shes here; n im thankful.
Shes defining it, the vibes r all in;
I jus want it to work out - it has to;
Gotta get onto a truckload of praying.
